Am still outside now, attempting to study for my last paper. I'm so restless that I'm going crazy. I can't stand it. I get distracted every 0.02314 seconds and I don't know why. It is extremely annoying and frustrating.
Usually when something bothers me, I sleep it away. When it can't be slept away, I conclude that it is a real problem. I don't know how to continue from here already. It just piles and piles. Perhaps I am a troublesome friend to have but it's fine. Funny thing is, I never recalled myself being like that when I was in that situation. Or maybe I was, just that I never realised it I guess. I'll take note in future if I get a chance to.
And perhaps it's just PMS. That's what I like to tell myself. And recently I like to tell myself that only I matter. Is it making me happier? Maybe not. But if I don't tell myself that I am afraid I would lose more hope in people. It's so so tiring. I think I need to hide in a cave.
Nevertheless, as my exams come to an end, there are different people whom I want to specifically thank for making this last exam much more bearable. Thank you for checking on me and giving words of encouragement. Thank you for being there and cheering me up together with your friend after the sucky interview, though you probably didn't realise it meant a lot to me. Thank you for inviting me to your house and the meal you cooked, plus the calming words when I needed them. Thank your partner for the smses which your partner was probably made to send me because they make me happy as well. Thank you for being my dinner and study buddy and I really appreciate your company this sem. Thank you all for organizing gatherings which allows me to take a break from life and have fun. I am really appreciative of all that you all have done despite being busy with other things yourselves.
Let's go, there is only one paper left. Even if I have to do it myself, it's okay. Because only I matter.
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